Heated

This month is honestly not a very good month for me. Come to think of it, I think it's the worst because just when I think things are alright again, something just ruins it. Every single day seems like a bad day. Everything's beginning to really bug me and I feel like I'm going to explode any moment of the day now! People, class, homework, whatever it is, it bothers me.

Perhaps it's the fact that I have to deal with two deaths back to back along with a death anniversary. I can't cope with death because it makes me so sad even if I wasn't close to my family members. Still, the funerals and ceremonies are too heavy for me to handle. I couldn't stand seeing so many people cry... And it made me think "What would happen if I died of an unexpected death? Would the friends that I think would go to my funeral actually attend? Would anyone actually care or would it just be for the time being?"

For the past 6 weeks or so, I've been getting only 5 hours of sleep each day.. Weekends included. There is no such thing as sleeping in anymore! I guess this is what I deserve for not planning out my homework time correctly. I guess that's what I deserve for all the shit I've gotten myself into. I guess.

Sometimes I still think "Are you serious?!" Actually it's more of a "Are you serious....." I have been learning something new every single day. Good talk, good talk